To all of you "Garys"

Why do guys persist on trying to get with you when you are so obviously not interested? This so disturbing to me. I seriously get so creeped out that I want to run and go vomit!

I think that my feelings stem back to when I was in the 2nd grade. The boy after me back then was Gary. I did not like Gary! I liked Larry. I don't think Gary was necessarily gross, but he was just not Larry. Larry had the bluest eyes and the blondest hair (which is what I liked back then) and he was so cool. Gary was not so cool. It seemed that every where I went he was there. He would ask me 1,000 questions which made me very uncomfortable because I was so shy.

My mom began to be amused at my vexation. She would sing, "You and Gary sittin' in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g..." I would get so angry because I liked Larry, not stupid ol' Gary! One time when we were relaxing on a lake in our boat we saw Gary off in the distance on shore. My mom kept saying, "Go swim out and talk to him!" I wish I coulda said, "Hell no, mom!" Instead I just fell silent and ill.

These days the guys think that I am desperate for a man or husband because I am a single mom, but those same ill feelings come over me to this day whenever a guy persists, even though I have shown no interest in him whatsoever. So, pay attention any of you that think that you can win me over just because I am a single mom. I am picky! You should know that you make me sick with your lines, invitations, and proposals! Know this: I won't settle for anything less than a "Larry."